Kayla 1844-332-2639 Ext 357
Okay, so it’s not December yet, but I wanted to put up my Christmas tree! I just think a good, well-decorated Christmas tree helps the Thanksgiving esthetic, ya know? But I am so tired of fake trees or the ones you buy from the fire station that are already dried out and basically a pile of pine needles on your floor. I wanted a healthy, hand-picked Christmas tree.
And I live close enough to the woods that there literally was nothing stopping me from going out and chopping down my own tree! I’m an independent woman who is so capable of something like that. So I put on my knee-high boots, the ones without heels, a flannel over shirt, cus it felt right, and off I went. Axe in hand, I was gonna get myself my own damn tree.
Christmas Tree Carfuffle
Yeah, maybe it was a dumb idea to come out on my own because as I walked through the woods, the cold November wind started to claw at my cheeks, making them rosy red, and my beanie wasn’t keeping my ears warm enough. I wandered this way and that, looking at maple and birch trees. What kind of fucking forest didn’t have pine trees?
The axe was getting heavy in my hand, and the sun was quickly setting thanks to the fucking time change. Oh, this was a bad idea. I’d walked so far in the woods that I didn’t know how to get back. I was in trouble if I didn’t figure something out, and fast!
I started to scream. It was the only thing I could think of! I yelled until my lungs burned, and when no one came to the rescue, I slumped down against the stump of a sturdy fir tree. “You’re lucky I’m too cold and tired to chop you,” I mumbled at the stupid tree bracing my back. My hands patted down my flannel shirt only to realize my dumbass didn’t even bring my phone. “Fuck!”
Just then, I heard a branch break from behind me. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I hugged the axe tight. I only wanted a Christmas tree not to fight off some woodland creature. My eyes squeezed shut for a moment, and then I remembered I was all alone and would have to fight whatever it was behind me by myself!
Kayla 1844-332-2639 Ext 357