Tag: funny

naughty story

Jamie 1-844-332-2639 ext 461

Yes, I know I’m a hottie. And more importantly, I’m a professional-grade menace when it comes to first dates. So, after three weeks of witty banter and late-night DMs, I was finally meeting Alex, the ridiculously charming engineer I found on a dating app. Or, shall I say, he found me.

Alex had suggested somewhere casual, like a coffee shop. But ‘casual’ isn’t really in my vocabulary, especially when I’m trying to make a lasting (and perhaps slightly traumatizing) first impression. The plan was simple: I’d wear a beautifully demure, high-necked vintage dress.

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xXx Francie xXx 844-332-2639 x 208

Valentine’s day, yuck. Love, yuck. Why do we even need a stupid lovey, dovey holiday when ninety percent of couples are unhappy anyway? It’s literally the dumbest day of the year. Just like every year, I won’t be going out and spreading the stupidity of the love fest.

No, for Valentine’s Day, I’m nice and comfy on my couch, in my favorite PJs, watching reality tv. The kinda stuff we should celebrate! Cheating and drama! That’s real life, not looOovveee. Just as I scrapped the last spoon full of ice cream from the empty carton, I heard a weird noise in my bedroom.  Being alone in the house isn’t normally scary, but I don’t often think an intruder is hiding in my bedroom. Armed with my spoon, I tiptoe down the hall and gently nudge my bedroom door open with my toe. I’m shocked to see cupid standing on my bed with his bright red arrow aimed right at me!

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By Mean Lil Krysta 844-332-2639 Ext. 410

If you give a bitch a blow job, he’ll probably wanna touch your tits. When you let him touch your tits, he’ll probably ask to touch your pussy. When he touches your pussy, he is probably going to get hard all over again.

Once he is hard all over again, he’s probably going to ask you to give him a hand job and keep his dick throbbing. Then, when his dick is throbbing, he’ll probably ask you to straddle him.

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