Amber 1-844-332-2639 ext 404
My inbox looks like a fireworks display on the Fourth of July…if every firework were a marriage proposal from a loser who still thinks “pizza delivery” is a legitimate job. First there was Kevin, the “nice guy” from my yoga class. He offered me a ring and a guarantee that I’d never have to argue about the thermostat again (I’m almost always too cold!). I politely declined, telling him I “didn’t want to be tied down,” but the real reason is because his cock is too small.
Then came Derek. He showed up with a fresh‑baked batch of cookies and a Spotify playlist titled “Songs to Sweep Her Off Her Feet (and the Floor).” I laughed, because the only thing he’s ever swept me off my feet is when his Roomba bumps into me and I fall flat on my perfect little ass! He wasn’t impressed, to say the least.
loser proposals
And let’s not forget Aaron. He’s a barista with a “simp” badge glued to his apron. He writes poetry on coffee cups. “Your eyes are espresso, your smile is a latte, let’s stir together forever.” First of all, my eyes are blue. BLUE!
Aaron gave me a ring made out of a twisted paperclip, declaring it “the most authentic metal in existence.” Insert dramatic eye-roll here, please. All these proposals have something in common. They’re safe, they’re predictable, they’re…ugh, soooo fucking beta!
And I’m not angry, I’m just wildly entertained. I’ve learned that a real man isn’t a stereotype like the “alphas” we see and hear about, he’s someone who knows how to meet my womanly needs without a handbook. That’s right, I’m talking about sex. Passion! Losers don’t know how to find their wallets half the time, let alone my clit.
I want a partner who can crack a joke about my over‑active inner monologue and then, later, eat my pussy like he hasn’t had a meal in months. I want a man who isn’t afraid to push me onto the bed, rip my clothes off, and shove his fat dick inside my dripping wet pussy until I scream-cum loud enough to wake the entire neighborhood.
I’ll hold out until the guy who can give me what I really want shows up. Until then, I’ll keep collecting those beta proposals like novelty coasters. They’re great for a laugh, but useless forever.
Amber 1-844-332-2639 ext 404
https://phonesexcandy.com/amber