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Cory 1-844-332-2639 ext 407

I’d been called to the “fun house” on the edge of town to investigate what sounded like a paranormal situation. When I pushed open the creaky door, the smell hit me hard. It was a musty mix of wet carpet and baby powder. Weird combo, I thought. My eyes adjusted to the dim glow of a blinking Game Boy Color screen and there it was. A creature slinking in the corner. Its face was a smudge of a shadow and it had many (too many) teeth.

“Well,” I said, aloud, patting my hip where my “Mama Kit” (a custom duffel bag with a sippy cup, pacifier, and a vintage rattle) hung, “you’re not what I expected.” It hissed. I giggled. “Oh, you’re spicy. I like that.” Drawing on years of experience comforting mommy’s boys and toys, I waddled closer, patting the floor. “Here, let’s sit down like grown-ups.” I sat, crossing my legs. The creature paused, with its too-long fingers twitching. Casually, I pulled out the rattle and clicked it. “I bring treats,” I added, unzipping the duffel to reveal a stash of glow-in-the-dark lollipops (for emergencies).

Continue reading “the fun house on the edge of town”

sexy

Amber 1-844-332-2639 ext 404

The chime of the church door seemed to echo the conflict within me. Sister Agatha’s words about resisting temptation, about the sanctity of marriage, still hung in the air as I stepped out into the cool night. My women’s group was a haven, a weekly affirmation of my faith and my commitment to Thomas.

Then I saw him. He was emerging from the pub across the street, laughter spilling out around him and his friends. He was a silhouette at first, broad shoulders and a confident stride. But as he turned, the streetlight caught his face – sharp jawline, eyes that crinkled at the corners even when he wasn’t smiling, and a shock of unruly dark hair. He was magnificent. And he was looking directly at me.

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One day while minding my own business, swimming in the Atlantic Ocean when suddenly I was sucked beneath the water.  At first, I panicked until I realized that even though the surface of the water was moving further away from me, I could still breathe just fine.  I took a moment to examine my surroundings and it appeared as though I was in some sort of bubble.  The bubble sunk lower and lower into the depths of the ocean as I tried to figure out what was going on.  Eventually, a large underwater castle came into view and the bubble seemed to have a course set right for it.

Continue reading “Poseidon’s Leviathan Pussy Licking Sea Monster”