ALYSSA 1-844-332-2639, extension 202
Meet your new girlfriend, Handerella. Well, she’s not really new. You have always been able to just fuck your hand. It must really suck to be so pathetic. You can’t get a real date even if your life depends on it. All of your friends and coworkers have weekend plans and romantic evenings and trips with their wives, girlfriends and even side chicks but all you have to look forward to is dinner alone and then some time with your best friend in the world – your hand.
Meet Your New Girlfriend, Handerella
You should have carpal tunnel syndrome by now with all of that jerking action. I have an idea for you. Why don’t you take some lipstick and draw a pretty little mouth on your hand. Then you can get a wig and stick it to the top part. Now, your new “girlfriend” will always be glad to see you. Oh, draw some eyes or paste those fake googly eyes on it then she can “look” at you will you pound her mouth.
Who knows? Maybe you can actually convince yourself that your new hand girlfriend is real. She just wants to suck you into her mouth and make you shoot that load. The best thing about her is that she doesn’t talk back and never makes fun of you. You can even name her. What about Handerella? LOL
That sounds great, doesn’t it? Well, what the fuck are you waiting for? Get that bitch oiled up and ready to go. She’s a sure thing and you’ve never had that. This new girlfriend will never disappoint and the great thing is she’s always there for you. Also, unlike real women this hand bitch won’t turn you down.
See? Even a loser like you can finally get a girlfriend, even if “she” is your hand. Have a nice date, dude.
ALYSSA 1-844-332-2639, extension 202